Seems like quite a basic concept right?  Doesn’t sound too complex an idea at all, but I reckon ‘giving ourselves permission’ might be one of the most difficult things for many of us to do. It’s also one of the most important things we can do for ourselves….but why is it so important? and why is it so hard to ‘give ourselves permission’ or in other words to be kind to ourselves.

For what its worth here’s what I think about this ‘permission’ and ‘approval’ business…

In my life I’ve realised it has been more enriching for me to look at this idea of “Giving myself Permission” as learning to be kind and caring to myself, learning to forgive myself for mistakes (large or small) and learning that I deserve to have the things that make me happy in my life, guilt free!

While all this learning was going on I finally understood at a deeper level, that learning to ‘give myself permission‘ and finally believing that ‘I deserve‘ , meant that I had really been learning about how to show love and appreciation to Ceili. I’d learned about #Love and how to love myself.

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 Here’s the thing…

So often in our lives we lose touch with our inner selves, with how we feel and what we truly desire in our lives. Our lives are filled with busy schedules, To do lists, emails, errands, technology, social media and a plethora of thoughts flitting in and out of our minds day in and day out. Keeping us in an almost constant state of pre-occupation with the frantic everyday.

Eventually, after acts of passive aggression, out right aggression, feelings of anxiety, frustration or overwhelm we might begin to feel a growing sense of disconnection with ourselves ,oftentimes coupled with a nagging sense of disappointment or failure. 

Yeah, it happens to us all at one point or another. None of us are alone with this one and we all have days , weeks, months or moments just like this. It’s so very natural and pretty commonplace for us human beings to sometimes feel fed up, tired, confused, angry or just overwhelmed.

We are all in this together

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When you’re feeling crabby, low or scared, let yourself feel these things. Let yourself feel through the experience of these not so awesome sensations. Because it’s here where you’re going to learn the most about yourself. It’s in feeling the darkness that you will learn to love and appreciate the light. It’s in these moments where you build resilience, tenacity and wisdom from experience. 

I’ve found myself in a similar situations in the past and it was during these times when I felt most vulnerable, desperate and alone that it began to dawn on me that what I needed was to give myself permission to let go. I needed to learn how to be happy. I realized that after 32 years of life, my entire identity was wrapped in emotional struggle & trauma, that I had chosen to hold on to. If I was going to let these things go it meant I had to find new experiences, new memories, a new life, to replace the un-happiness and un-healthiness of what was before.

Now, let me say this, I consider myself to be a pretty adaptable and capable person, but moving forward into the unknown of creating a new happier life has been a scary experience. It was scary to let go of all the familiar emotions I”d grown accustomed to, and scary to be vulnerable in a world where I was re-learning to interact with. Yes, Scary! but oh so very exciting!! 

And….it takes effort. It takes effort every day. It takes an effort to pay attention to your feelings, to your thoughts, to the relationships & people in your life. It takes effort to let go and to allow yourself to take any kind of action in creating a life you love.

But in putting in all that effort we are by default embarking on a journey of #selfdiscovery and learning to Love and care for ourselves.

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When you take the time to put the effort in and when you give yourself permission to create positive change in your life – this is Love and surely only good things can come from Love! Moving beyond the fear of letting go is exhilarating and all you have to do is make the choice. Make the choice to accept that there is no fairy dust that will make your life what you want it to be, or a magic spell that will bring you the feelings that you desire. Accept that you have the control and the all the power within you, to make the choices that will serve you best. Make the choice to be true to who you are and taking just one step is worth praising yourself for. Make the choice to be more forgiving and more self-praising; feeling guilty is just a waste of time! 

Give yourself permission to take action on feeling good and creating positive changes in your life, because you deserve it. We all do! 

 

Much Love,

Ceili xx

This piece was taken from my own personal blog site